Buried in busyness …..

by Sunil Bali, 21-05-2017

I got buried in busyness last week, completely lost my focus, and only regained it when I was reminded of this story (thanks Steve).

Just as the giant cruise ship was about to depart, fully laden with passengers, the engine failed.

Panic quickly ensued as various teams of engineers failed to restart the engine and the passengers became ever more irate.

A retired ship engineer who lived locally was summoned.

He embarked with his small bag of tools and inspected the engine very carefully. Having completed his inspection, he reached into his bag and pulled out a hammer and gently tapped something.

Instantly, the engine lurched into life. It was fixed.

A week later the owners received a bill from the old man of $10000.

"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything." The owners wrote to the old man and asked him to submit an itemized invoice which he duly did:

The invoice read:

Tapping with a hammer…….. $2.00

Knowing where to tap…….. $9998.00

 

Humour

A woman applies for a job in a lemon grove.

"Have you any experience of picking lemons?" asked the foreman.

"I certainly have," replied the woman.

"I’ve been married three times."

 

Live big & love deep.

Sunil

www.sunilbali.com

What Bill Gates learned from Warren Buffet …..

by Sunil Bali, 14-05-2017

When his name is mentioned, Bill Gates speaks in glowing terms about the man he calls his mentor, Warren Buffet.

At a celebration dinner earlier this year to mark 25 years of friendship, Gates was asked what is the most important thing he has learned from Buffet.

Gates replied, “That every coin has 3 sides. A side, a flip side, and an edge. And the best place to see and appreciate both sides is from the edge.

Living on the edge helps you to be more creative and think differently, because if you’re thinking like everyone on one, or other side of the coin, then you’re not really thinking.”

 

Humour

Apparently, replying “maybe next time” to a wedding invite isn’t the correct response.

My husband was dying. The doctors said it was too late to do anything and that he was fading fast.

I was by his bedside when he said in a very weak voice, “There’s something I must confess.”

“Shhh,” I said, “There’s nothing to confess. Everything is alright.”

“No, I must die in peace,” he said, “I had an affair with our neighbour and your friend.”

“I know,” I whispered. “That’s why I put some ground nuts – the ones that give you extreme anaphylactic shock – in your dinner and couldn’t find your adrenaline jab ….. now close your eyes.”

 

Live big & love deep.

Sunil

www.sunilbali.com

The Credible Hulk …..

by Sunil Bali, 07-05-2017

Editor of Glamour magazine Kat Brown, recently described Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as one of the warmest and most engaging people she has ever met.

Whilst Johnson could have a lot to say about himself, given that he was the world’s highest paid actor in 2016 with earnings of $64.5 million, his feet are very much on the floor.

So what makes The Rock so endearing? Here are a six things which make him an attractive personality:

He,

  1. Listens with his eyes – this makes you feel that he is totally focused on you and what you have to say.
  2. Uses your name – people love to hear their named used, especially when it’s in a group of people.
  3. Doesn’t go to the party empty-handed – in his interview with Kat Brown he knew that she liked reading autobiographies and used to be an Arts columnist for The Times. Brown felt flattered that The Rock wanted to be briefed about her.
  4. Is genuinely interested – it’s more important to be interested than be interesting. As John Maxwell said, "People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care."
  5. Is curious – curiosity may have killed the cat, but it makes for great conversation.
  6. Is prepared to show his humanity and be vulnerable – in his interview, The Rock spoke of how he has struggled with depression and "eating clean" to stay in shape. Every now and then he allows himself a cheat day, which includes eating 12 blueberry pancakes with maple syrup, 4 large pizzas, 21 brownies and a litre of chocolate cookie milk shake.

The Rock’s great attitude towards people has earned him a place in Glamour magazine’s Top 10 celebrities who are impossible to dislike.

A bad attitude on the other hand is like bad breath: if you have one, people will avoid you and they probably won’t tell you why.

 

Humour

"Been drinking tonight Sir?" The policeman asked.
"I had one beer earlier, but that was all," I responded.

"I think you’ve had a few more than that Sir. Would you step out of the van please?"

"Why?"

"Because the Postman Pat ride is for children, and they’re waiting for you to get out so they can have their go."

Seven of Prince Philip’s most memorable "comments" as he retires from public engagements:

  1. "If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." (at a 1986 World Wildlife Fund meeting).
  2. "Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed" (during the 1981 recession).
  3. "If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed." (to British students in China, during the 1986 state visit).
  4. "You’re too fat to be an astronaut." (to 13-year-old Manchester schoolboy Andrew Adams who told Philip he wanted to go into space. 2001).
  5. "Do you still throw spears at each other?" (In Australia in 2002 talking to a successful aborigine entrepreneur).
  6. "The Philippines must be half empty as you’re all here running the NHS." (on meeting a Filipino nurse at an English hospital in February 2013).
  7. "I wish he’d turn the microphone off." (at the Royal Variety Performance as he watched Sir Elton John perform, 2001).

 

Live big & love deep.

Sunil

www.sunilbali.com

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