Moan Utd …..

by Sunil Bali, 30-04-2017

The Doc – aka my wife – says that I’m prone to bouts of Irritable Male Syndrome.

My computer crashing, being kept waiting and poor service seem to trigger my IMS.

Whilst the occasional whinge and moan can be cathartic, research shows that just like passive smoking, passive moaning can damage your health.

Researchers at the University of California have found that when someone complains, it lowers the mood of others in a process called neuronal mirroring.

Complaining has also been found to be exponential in nature, in that the more you complain, the greater and more frequent your level of complaining is likely to be in the future.

In others words, the more you moan, the more you become hard wired for negativity and the more likely you are to be called a grumpy old git!

So don’t become a member of the BMW* Club.

*bitching, moaning & whining

 

Humour

Business and shop signs:

On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push."

At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment."

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company:

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don’t, YOU will be de-lighted."

In a restaurant window:

"Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

"Drive carefully. We’ll wait!"

At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank Heaven for little grills."

In a Radiator Shop:

"Best place in town to take a leak."

At a Cemetery:

"We’ll be the last to let you down."

 

Live big & love deep.

Sunil

www.sunilbali.com

Sir Richard Branson on the importance of not growing up …..

by Sunil Bali, 23-04-2017

If you went to school in England, the chances are that you’re familiar with the fact that King Harold of England was shot in the eye by an arrow in 1066.

I can safely say that in the 40 years since I learned of Harold’s hapless demise, this fact has been of no use whatsoever.

The saving grace when I was taking my school exams was that whilst I was required to regurgitate countless facts, at least I wasn’t living in today’s age of infobesity, infoxication and information overload ….. drowning in a sea of self-promotion and sound bites.

As we’re growing up, school, society and then often the workplace, educate us out of our creativity.

Paul Linley, the multi-millionaire founder of children’s food company Ella’s kitchen, says that "grown-ups need to grow down" because when we’re born, we’re all creative geniuses and master negotiators, able to capture anyone’s attention.

Unburdened by the would, could and should of adulthood, children look at the world as a playground full of wonder, opportunity and joy.

In the foreword to Linley’s book, Little Wins, Sir Richard Branson says that recapturing the wild eyed enthusiasm, warmth and determination of your toddlerhood – or as Zen calls the Beginner’s Mind – is the path to a successful and fulfilled life.

 

Humour

A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.

The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the woman was slowly sliding down her chair, under the table and under the table-cloth – but the man just stared straight ahead.

The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and totally out of sight under the tablecloth.

Still, the man stared straight ahead.

The waitress, thinking this behaviour just a little odd and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and tactfully began by saying “Pardon me sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."

The man calmly looked up at her and said,

“No….. she didn’t ….. she just walked in."

 

Live big & love deep.

Sunil

www.sunilbali.com

A case of chronic constipation …..

by Sunil Bali, 16-04-2017

In 1999, great things were predicted for golfer Sergio Garcia after he shot the lowest amateur score at the Masters and turned professional.

Virtually all the leading golf commentators predicted that Sergio would win several Majors during his career.

Fast forward 18 years, and despite 73 attempts and finishing second four times, Sergio had never won a major.

That is until last Sunday, when Sergio won The Masters at Augusta, Georgia.

So what was different about his 74th attempt?

Sergio’s fiancée Angela, was flipping through some recent golfing photos of Sergio when she came across some old photos. The difference was stark.

The 37-year-old Garcia looked as if he was playing with the weight of the world on his shoulders whilst suffering from a case of chronic constipation. Whereas the 19-year-old Garcia had a beaming smile on his face and a spring in his step.

It was then that Sergio realized that wearing the tag of being "the best player never to win a major" was ruining his enjoyment of the game he loved.

So prior to attempt number 74, Sergio decided to go back to the future, lighten up and enjoy the game.

When Sir Steve Redgrave was asked what was the most important thing he needed to do before the Olympic final to win his fifth consecutive Olympic Gold medal he replied, “We’ve consistently put in the hard work, we’ve done all the training, we now need to let relax, not try too hard and let the boat glide."

So the game plan for success is, graft + grit + glide = gold

 

Humour

Business and shop signs:

On an Optometrist’s Office door,

"If you don’t see what you’re looking for,
You’ve come to the right place."

In a Shoe Repair Store,

“We will heel you…
We will save your sole…
We will even dye for you!"

On Gynaecologist’s office door,

“Dr. Jones, at your cervix!"

On a Podiatrist’s office door,

“Time wounds all heels."

Written on a Septic Tank truck,

“Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”

On a Plumber’s truck,

“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

At a Tyre Shop,

“Invite us to your next blowout."

On an Electrician’s truck,

“Let us remove your shorts."

In a Non-smoking Area,

“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action."

 

Live big & love deep.

Sunil

www.sunilbali.com

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