by Sunil Bali, 20-05-12

Have you ever taken a potted plant and put it into a bigger pot? I did that a few weeks ago and the plant has grown to nearly double its size.

Many of us have been conditioned into thinking that we’re smaller than we are. Just as a small plant pot keeps a plant from growing or a small fish bowl keeps goldfish tiny, we have, as author Alan Cohen says, "adapted, adjusted, and accommodated to a Lilliputian life."

Place a goldfish from a bowl into a lake and it will grow to at least 10 times its size. Plant a bonsai in the garden and it will grow into a fully fledged tree.

Unlike the plant or the goldfish, you’re not dependent on someone else to move you. You have the power to move yourself. You can step into a much bigger domain and grow to your full potential.

So how about putting yourself in a place with people that will help you flourish?

Quotes

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat – Lily Tomlin

Your true strength resides in holding your power in the midst of those who have abdicated theirs – Alan Cohen

It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the very best, you will get it – W. Somerset Maugham

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go – T.S. Eliot

Humour

For all you ladies who like a laugh and all you guys who have a good sense of humour…..

How to turn men down – with style!

HE    Can I buy you a drink?
SHE  Actually I’d rather have the money.

HE     I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.
SHE   I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.

HE     Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once or was it twice?
SHE   Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE     How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE   I must’ve been given your share.

HE     Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE   Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.

HE     Your face must turn a few heads
SHE   And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE     Go on, don’t be shy. Ask me out.
SHE   Okay, get out.

HE     I think I could make you very happy
SHE   Why? Are you leaving?

HE     What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE   Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

HE     Can I have your name?
SHE   Why? Don’t you already have one?

HE     Shall we go see a movie?
SHE   I’ve already seen it.

HE     Where have you been all my life?
SHE   Hiding from you.

HE     Haven’t I seen you some place before?
SHE   Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

HE     Is this seat empty?
SHE   Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE     So, what do you do for a living?
SHE   I’m a female impersonator.

HE     If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
SHE   If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.

HE     Where have you been all my life?
SHE   Where I’ll be the rest of your life – in your wildest dreams.

To your success,

Sunil

by Sunil Bali, 13-05-12

As well as becoming the second Prime Minister of Poland, Ignacy Jan Paderwerski was one of the most accomplished pianists of his day.

After a private concert for the rich and famous, a particularly well heeled lady came up to Paderwerski and waxed lyrical about his magnificent performance. She ended her tribute by saying, "Maestro, you are a genius."

To which Paderwerksi scornfully replied, "Yes Madam, but before I was a genius, I was a clod."

Known for his down to earth nature and belief in personal responsibility, I suspect Paderwerski was implying that success had not been handed to him on a plate and that he had put in many thousands of hours of practice.

It’s easy to look at people we admire and think that they’re successful because they were "born a genius" or were "lucky".

But behind every genius there was first a clod who worked incredibly hard to be able to produce great work with seemingly effortless ease.

You may not become a professional pianist or a Prime Minister, and whatever you do in life may not seem significant to you. But if you love what you do, then it’s absolutely essential for your happiness and those around you, that you keep doing it.

Quotes

The most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying. Why is this important? Because when we sit down day after day and keep grinding, something mysterious starts to happen. A process is set in motion by which, inevitably and infallibly, heaven comes to our aid. Unseen forces enlist in our cause; serendipity reinforces our purpose – Stephen Pressfield

Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it – Buddha

Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart – Rumi

If you only perform at a high level when you’re feeling your best, then you are the exact opposite of a professional and destined to remain an amateur at life and everything else – Mike Mahler

Humour

Thanks to Alastair for these…..

To your success,

Sunil

by Sunil Bali, 06-05-12

I’ve got a question for you. When was the last time that you used one of the following words?

Linger, leisurely, savour, relish, stroll, wallow

In the age of the sound bite, fast food, and speed dating we seem to have our pedal firmly to the metal on the highway of life.

Whilst speed can be exhilarating, and is sometimes required, going at full throttle for an extended period is going to result in a pit stop sooner rather than later. Avoid the pit stop and you’re unlikely to finish the race, or get to the end and think, was that it…..I should of, would of, could of…..?

As the leading performance psychologist Tony Schwartz says, "Speed is the enemy of depth, nuance, subtlety, attention to detail, reflection, learning, and rich relationships – the enemy of much, in short, that makes life worth living."

So how about building a few more smiles into your weekly schedule by:

1. Having a long, slow dinner with someone you care about or who you want develop a deeper relationship with.
2. Making sure you have a real good belly laugh every day. You could do this by watching a comedy clip or reading something funny…..maybe the humour section of my blog.
3. Going to bed early with a good book.
4. Spending uninterrupted time doing a hobby or activity which completely absorbs you and where time seems to stand still.
5. Going for a stroll somewhere you want to explore or simply like.

Whatever you decide to do, how about building a little more lingering, savouring and relishing into your life…..after all, isn’t that what life’s about?

As I said to one of my clients this week, "Even Superman takes his cape to the cleaners."

Quotes

I do nothing and then I do something. But it’s taken years of investigating idleness in all its forms to be able to achieve this. My discipline is borne out of concerted study of idleness – Will Self

You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet – Franz Kafka

To do nothing at all is the most difficult thing in the world – Oscar Wilde

An idle mind is a questioning, sceptical mind. Hence it is a mind not too bound up with ephemeral things, as the minds of workers are. The idler, then, is somebody who separates himself from his occupation: there are many people scarcely conscious of living except in the exercise of some conventional occupation – Robert Louis Stevenson

Humour

Posterior Design

To your success,

Sunil

by Sunil Bali, 29-04-12

Here’s a riddle for you.

Three little birds are sitting on a branch of a tree.
Two decide to fly away.
How many birds are left?

Answer: Three…..deciding and doing aren’t the same thing.

There’s a $20 Billion industry out there telling us how to be more successful. So you would expect to be falling over successful people on every street corner.

But the facts are that 1 in 4 of us will suffer some sort of mental illness during the course of our life and half the world’s wealth is owned by 2% of the population.

The problem is that when all is said and done, a lot more is said than done.

To paraphrase bestselling author and founder of Human Business Works, Chris Brogan, a “can do” attitude will take you so far, but what you also need is a “did do” attitude.

Whether its fear of failure, perfectionism, or procrastination, consistent action in the direction of your dreams will overcome these obstacles.

Action is everything.

The Latin word satis means enough. When you take enough action you’ll get satisfaction.

Quotes

The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can’t be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it – Harry Emerson Fosdick

A good plan executed, is far better than a perfect plan carried out next week – General Patton

You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do – Henry Ford

People who wait for something to turn up might start with their own shirt sleeves – Unknown

There are two ways to reach the top of an oak tree. You can climb it or sit on an acorn and wait – Unknown

Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity – Lao Tzu

Humour

The Four Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer, the second man an Accountant, the third a Chemist, and the fourth was a Trade Union Leader.

To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,

"Spreadsheet, do your stuff."

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a bottle of milk, got a glass from the cupboard and filled it to the top without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Trade Union Leader who called his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff."

Coffee Break jumped to his feet…….

ate the cookies……..

drank the milk…….

sh*t on the paper…….

screwed the other three cats…….

claimed he injured his back while doing so…….

filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions…….

put in for Workers Compensation……………and

went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

To your success,

Sunil

The Art of Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, 22-04-12

Let me give you two imaginary tasks.

Task A.

Walk from one end of a wooden beam to the other. The beam is on the floor and is twenty feet long, twelve inches thick and twelve inches wide.

How do you feel about the task: pretty straightforward? I guess you could do it without any hesitation?

Task B.

Walk along the same beam. This time the beam is suspended 100 feet above the pavement between two buildings.

How do you feel this time? Has the thought of falling entered your mind? Maybe a little fear, doubt and not quite so relaxed?

So where is your focus now? Has it shifted from being totally focussed on walking to the other end of the board?

If your focus has shifted by even one or two per cent, then you won’t have the optimum mindset to perform the task.

Research clearly shows that great performers can focus on their performance to the exclusion of everything else. They can engage so completely in the task at hand, that there simply isn’t any room for self-doubt, fear of failure or wanting to give up.

Any sense of self-doubt, or wanting to give up, is usually a signal that you need to get out of your own way and give more…..more energy, more commitment, more focus…..because it’s only the focussed who flourish.

Quotes

The awakened sages call a person wise when all his undertakings are free from anxiety about results – Bhagavad Gita

The mature human being goes about doing what needs to be done regardless of whether that person feels great or terrible. Knowing that you are the kind of person with that kind of self-control brings all the satisfaction and confidence you will ever need – David Reynolds

People who strive for something personally significant, whether it’s learning a new craft, changing careers, or raising moral children, are far happier than those who don’t have strong dreams or aspirations. Find a happy person, and you will find a project – Professor Sonia Lyubomirsky

Why should the way I feel be dependent upon the thoughts in someone else’s head? – Emerson

The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not – George Bernard Shaw

Humour

Immigration Control

The German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, arrives at Passport Control at Athens International Airport.

Nationality …?" barks out the Immigration Officer."

"German", she responds.

"Occupation …?" continues the Officer.

"No, just here for a few days …!!!!!"

Food for thought…..

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea…does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

As we’ve just started a new tax year, have you ever noticed that when you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS"?

If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

Do workers at a tea plantation take "coffee breaks?"

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of its nose?

To your success,

Sunil

by Sunil Bali, 15-04-12

In an excess economy attention is scarce. If you don’t get noticed you’re out. In order to thrive in this hyper competitive environment you need to get personal and become a magnet for people’s hearts and minds.

It’s often thought that in order to have a magnetic personality you have to be an extrovert or naturally charismatic. This simply isn’t true.

The key to capturing your audience’s attention is to first pay attention to them and remember that two monologues don’t make a dialogue.

Of course, we can all think of people who are naturally appealing or charismatic, but can you think of a person who cares about you, understands you and who always helps you, that you don’t like?

One of the most magnetic people I know is an introvert who cares about everyone she meets. She’s a great listener and always says something that’s interesting, valuable, or which makes you feel good. You won’t hear her complaining, tellinyou how great she is (and she really is very successful) or putting others down.

Here are the 10 Commandments of Charismatic people. Charismatic people,

If you’ve got a great attitude towards other people, then they’ll want to hear what you have to say and spend time with you.

A bad attitude on the other hand is like bad breath: if you have one, people will avoid you and they probably won’t tell you why.

Quotes

Sometimes we need to detach ourselves from others, sometimes we need to tune in to others. The people who thrive are the people that can do both – Sunil Bali

There have been great societies that did not use the wheel, but there have been no societies that did not tell stories – Ursula Le Guin

The keys to the kingdom are changing hands. Being an expert is no longer enough. The ability to forge relationships now determines who flourishes and who flounders – Daniel Pink

We love buying but hate being sold to. So be in the relationship before the sale – Greg Cangialosi

Humour

To your success,

Sunil

Adventures in Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, 01-04-12

As part of my mis-spent youth, I used to play table-tennis for hours on end. It wasn’t long before I was selected for the school team.

Despite my very best efforts however, I couldn’t get into the County team. A place in the team was like stabbing jelly: I just couldn’t pin one down.

The problem was that I had no game plan. Mine was a counter attacking game. Although I was well prepared to counter everything my opponent threw at me, I was always countering and the other player dictated the tempo.

Once I went on the offensive, had a plan of attack and made the first move, I started winning more games and was selected for the County team.

Last week, I met a very successful entrepreneur who increased the profits of his recruitment business last year. When I asked him how he had achieved such great results in a recession, he replied, “We agreed a plan at the beginning of the year where we decided not to participate in the recession.”

If you have a plan to chase your passion rather than your pension and make the first move, you may be surprised how well life responds to you.

Quotes

The best parts of this world were not fashioned by those who were realistic. They were fashioned by those who dared to look hard at their wishes and gave them horses to ride – Richard Bolles

The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson – Tom Bodette

We don’t have five senses, we have six senses; intuition being the sixth and most important sense. Once you learn to trust yourself, the world will bow at your feet – Jackson Kiddard

He who has a why to live, can bear almost any how – Friedrich Nietzsche

Humour

An extra dose this week, given that my next column will be on 15th April.

Psalm 129

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.

It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’

And finally, two minutes of pure genius from my favourite comedian,

Micky Flanagan (2 min video)

I hope you have a fabulous Easter.

To your success,

Sunil

Adventures in Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, 25-03-12

When an Austrian toothpaste salesman, Mr Mateschitz, arrived in Thailand suffering from jet lag, a hotelier recommended a can of the local pick me up, Krating Daeng.

So impressed was Mr Mateschitz, that whilst he was still in Thailand, he did a deal to market a less sweet, carbonated version of the drink in Europe.

Every piece of market research and testing however, suggested that the drink would flop. His business advisers told him that his new venture would fail and bring him to the verge of bankruptcy. But such was Mr Mateschitz’s belief in his product, that he ignored all the market research and expert advice and pressed ahead with a European launch.

Today, Dietrich Mateschitz has a personal fortune estimated at $2.4 billion and 4.6 billion cans of his drink were consumed last year.

Ps. Just in case you’re not fluent in Thai, Krating Daeng means “Red Buffalo” or “Red Bull”.

Quotes

We don’t like their sound and guitar music is on the way out – what Decca Records said about The Beatles.

You lack imagine and have no original ideas – what a manager at a newspaper said to Walt Disney when he fired him.

You’re too stupid to learn anything – what a teacher said about Thomas Edison.

Don’t make me walk when I want to fly – Galina Doyla

Humour

Thanks to Jags for these exam answers:

To your success,

Sunil

Adventures in Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, 18-03-12

Here’s a question for you. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever had?

For me, it’s been three words, "Be happy now". Let me explain why.

In my Trusted Adviser seminars, I notice that happy salespeople sell much more than unhappy sales people. Most people think that successful salespeople are happy because they’re selling more and earning more money. This isn’t true – happiness is an inside job…..

…..research by the brilliant Harvard psychologist Shawn Achor (fantastic video of Shawn speaking at TEDx) reveals that successful salespeople sell more and make more money because they’re happy.

Next to love, happiness is probably the strongest stuff in the world. It’s more energizing than oxygen. It’s more mind expanding than a dose of LSD. It’s more intoxicating than a glass of Dom Perignon on a summer’s day.

Its only when you’re happy and enthusiastic, that you can enthuse others and create the business relationships that you want.

So how about setting this as a goal? To know when you take your last breath, that you always expressed who you really are and did what made you happy.

What say you?

Quotes

The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered, is to be insincere – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

When you trust yourself and express with heartfelt conviction that which you really are, you flip the script on whatever is lacking in your life and draw it to you automatically – Jackson Kiddard

Your world is a living expression of how you are using and have used your mind – Earl Nightingale

The chief danger in life is that you take too many precautions – Alfred Adler

Humour

A double header this week:

You can’t escape Pachelbel (5 min video) – hilarious, original and very clever video of comedian and musician, Rob Paravonian.

Going up to Heaven

A young woman was teaching Sunday school to a group of very young children, one day she asked the class a question. She said “Class, who can tell me what’s the first part of you to get to Heaven, when you die?”

The young children sat quietly thinking, then finally little Jimmy in the front of the class raised his hand. The teacher said “Okay Jimmy what do think is the first part of you that gets to Heaven?” Jimmy said, “The top of your head, because when your standing up it’s the closest thing to Heaven.” The teacher then said “Well that’s not quite what I’m looking for does anybody else have any ideas?”

So little Mary raised her hand and said, “I know the answer; it’s your heart.” The teacher said “Your heart; why do say that Mary?” "Because that’s where all the goodness and stuff is and when you die it gets there first,” replied Mary. The teacher smiled and said, “That’s really nice Mary, but it’s not quite what I’m looking for, anyone else?”

Just then little Tommy the class troublemaker raised his hand. “Okay Tommy what do you think the answer is?” asked the teacher. “The soles of your feet,” Tommy replied confidently. “The soles of your feet? Why do say that?” asked the teacher. So Tommy says, “Well the other day I went up stairs and my mother was lying on her bed with her feet up in the air saying, “Oh my God I’m coming! And if it wasn’t for the postman holding her down I think she would have gone."

To your success,

Sunil

Adventures in Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, 11-03-12

A rather cruel experiment with rats, carried out many years ago at John Hopkins University in New York, showed the importance of hope when it comes to achieving success.

A large number of rats were each put into their own glass jar, which was full of water. After a brief period, half the rats were rescued from their ordeal before being put back in the water. The other half were left to swim for their life.

The group of rats that had been rescued and thereby given hope that they may be rescued again, swam for an average of three days. The group of rats that hadn’t been rescued all drowned in less than 24 hours.

Many psychotherapists use a simple scale of 1-10, when reframing the problems of their patients to give them hope.

When I was a psychotherapist, I would ask my patients to score their progress against a scale of 1 to 10. If, at the outset, they said they were a 3, I would reply “Great! So you’re already 30% there.” If they came back the next week and said they were a 4, I would say “Excellent. That’s an improvement of over 33%.”

We’re all told to set big, audacious goals, but too often we’re overwhelmed by both the enormity and remoteness of the challenge and our progress falters.

Celebrating small milestones which are visible and attainable, fuels us with hope to keep moving forward and reach the next milestone.

When Paula Radcliffe set the current world record of 2hrs 15mins 25secs, she was asked what her race strategy was. Her reply was “I didn’t really run a marathon; I ran 26 one mile races and smiled to myself after I had completed each mile.”

Quotes

Only one thing matters, one thing; to be able to dare – Fyodor Dostoevsky

All that ever holds somebody back, I think, is fear. For a minute I had fear, then I went into the dressing room and shot my fear in the face! – Lady Gaga

When something goes wrong, its inevitably part of a larger right – Jed McKenna

Don’t bother trying to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself – William Faulkner

Humour

Short and sweet from Peter Kay:

To your success,

Sunil