Adventures in Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, 19-02-12

Thanks to his class mates at school spilling the beans and my wife loudly dropping coins down the side of his bed which woke him, my 8 year old son Aran has stopped believing in both Father Xmas and the Tooth Fairy.

No longer will my son be afraid to incur the wrath of these doyens of good behaviour, and so miss out on presents and hard cash.

What’s remarkable is how quickly kids can change their belief systems and go from believing in fairy tales to believing in the Argos toy catalogue and the bank of mum and dad.

Research clearly shows that during our teenage years we become conditioned into holding onto belief systems which clearly don’t support what we want to achieve. This toxic process continues during adulthood…..

"I’ll always be overweight."
"If I fail, I’ll feel stupid and rejected."
"I’m not good enough."

We’re born with a clean slate but the doom mongers, psychic vampires and non-achievers tell us what we can aspire to.

Don’t listen to them (77 second video)

Having positive role models and mentors in your inner circle can make a hugedifference to your outcomes:

A little boy who drew soldiers on the walls of his bedroom and enacted great battles was told by his parents that if he wanted to be a great general then that was fine by them. The little boy was Napoleon Bonaparte.

A young lad drew a three pointed star and said he would make the greatest engines in the world and put his star on them. His parents said to him, why don’t you go one step further and make the greatest cars in the world? The boys name was Gottlieb Daimler.

What beliefs and habits are stopping you from being more like the people you admire and aspire to be like?

Quotes

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant curiosity of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult – Sigmund Freud

Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power comes available to you as soon as you change your beliefs – Maxwell Maltz

If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it – Gandhi

The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose – William Cowper

Humour

A recent study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she tends to prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

However, when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol, then set on fire with scissors stuck in his eye.

…..and finally, if you’re having a bad day, remember it could have been worse:

…..or worse still you could you have been this incredibly unlucky bird (5 second video)

To your success,

Sunil

Adventures in Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, 12-02-12

Indians and Italians have a number of things in common, including their passion for food and the importance of deepening relationships over the course of a long, slow dinner.

Keith Ferrazi, author of the New York Times bestseller Who’s got your back tells me that Italians have a saying: "A tavola non s’invecchia" which means "At the dinner table no one grows old."

Whether it’s a family member or a potential client, getting people away from distractions and their daily environment is crucial to establishing closer relationships.

When you’ve got one eye on the clock, it can often become a case of "Let’s cut to the chase" rather than "What can I do for you?"

Don’t you find that time stands still and food tastes so much better when sprinkled with the intimacy of a "getting to know you better" dinner?

The long, slow dinner provides a platform to get what matters on the table and all agendas off the table and allows for openness, intimacy and ultimately trust to develop.

So who would you like to take out for dinner and get to know much better? How about over an Indian meal?

Being an Indian, I’m passionate about Indian food. Unfortunately, the food served by more than 95% of the Indian restaurants in the UK is, in my humble opinion, not fit for a dog! So here are a few restaurants that are the real deal and serve fabulous Indian food. But be warned…..you’ll never want to go back to your local curry house!

1. West London: http://dine-online.co.uk/madhus-indian-restaurant.htm Madhu’s Brilliant, Southall. They did the catering at my wedding 11 years ago and people are still talking about the food!
2. East London: http://www.tayyabs.co.uk/ – Tayyabs serves probably the best Lamb chops in the UK.
3. East London: http://www.lahore-kebabhouse.com/ – Lahore Kebab House is one of the first and very best curry houses in London.
4. Harrow: http://www.regencyclub.co.uk/ The Regency Club is a bar and grill which also serves fantastic vegetarian food. It’s 1minute walk from Queensbury tube station.
5. Birmingham: http://www.ashasuk.co.uk/ Asha’s – a fine dining establishment with some exquisite house specialities.

I’ve eaten at virtually all of London’s upmarket, fine dining, Indian restaurants and whilst my first 4 recommendations don’t have the grandeur of these establishments, the food is considerably better and will cost the same as your local curry house.

Quotes

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe: whatever you call it and whoever you are, you need one – Jane Howard

People don’t want any more information, they’re drowning it. They want trust. Trust in you and the story that you tell – Sunil Bali

To fly we have to have resistance – Maya Lin

I use my muscles as a conversation piece, like someone walking a cheetah down 42^nd street – Arnold Schwarzenegger

Humour

The following passage is taken from my book, Mind, Set & Match

Love Is…..

A team of researchers asked a group of primary school children: "What does love mean?" The answers were broader and deeper than they could have imagined:

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."Billy, age 4

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy, age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired." Terri, age 4

"Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."Bobby, age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."Nikka, age 6

"During my piano recital I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore."Cindy, age 8

"Love is when Mummy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine, age 5

"Love is when Mummy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford. “Chris, age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."Mary Ann, age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."Lauren, age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."Karen, age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross."Mark, age 6

"You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."Jessica, age 8

….. and finally, here is an awesome marriage proposal (video)

To your success,

Sunil

Adventures in Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, 05-02-12

Have you ever wondered why so many rich people, don’t retire?

Billionaires such as Steven Spielberg, George Soros and Ralph Lauren could easily pack in the day job, but choose not to.

It’s because they’re having too much fun to stop.

When questioned why he doesn’t call it a day, Warren Buffet replied, "When I go to my office every morning, I feel like I’m going to the Sistine Chapel to paint."

These billionaires have to put up with crap just like anyone else. The trick is to get the Pareto scales weighing heavily in your favour and make sure that you’re having fun at least 80% of the time and doing stuff that’s not fun less than 20% of the time.

If it’s the other way around you’re in the wrong job and probably getting a lot of stress.

The evidence is unequivocal: Stress isn’t working 12 hours a day doing a job you love. Stress is working 8 hours a day doing a job you hate.

In this 90 second video, Steve Jobs explains the rules for success and why you should chase your passion and not our pension (p.13 of pdf)

Quotes

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are – Chinese proverb and one of my favourite quotes

A true professional achieves success when you don’t know what you’re doing is work or play – Warren Beatty

I never did a day’s work in my life; it was all fun – Thomas Edison

I wasn’t the funniest guy growing up, but I was the guy who worked the hardest on being funny – Chris Rock comedian

Humour

1. Why does water that has "trickled through the mountains for centuries" have a "use by" date?

2. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?

3. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

4. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

5. Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?

6. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

7. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

8. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

9. Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

10. Is there ever a day that sofas are not on sale?

11. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

To your success,

Sunil

Ps. If you enjoy this column, then you’ll enjoy my new books:

The Art of Awesome Living

The Book of Awesome Humour

which will be published next week. You can get free samples of both books & order them at:

http://www.sunilbali.com/books/

by Sunil Bali, 29-01-12

Have you ever watched little children after they’ve just learned to walk?

They take a few steps away from Mum and Dad before toddling back to them, to a place they know is safe.

The next time they may wander a step or two further, before returning. As their confidence builds they venture further away, but often look back, seeking reassurance that they can return to their place of safety.

My experience of working with leaders of multi-nationals to one man bands has convinced me that as adults we still need that “safe place” if we’re to flourish and reach our highest potential. A place where we can make mistakes without fear of embarrassment, where we can learn and be supported by others.

The media feeds us examples of solitary hyper achievers who have single-handedly defied the odds by ploughing a solitary furrow. The reality however, is that these hyper achievers invariably have a close team around them: It’s only when they’ve got their team together that their dream comes together.

Social media, on-line networking and the internet are essential tools but not the answer. The likes of Linked In, Twitter, and Facebook allow us to have more “friends” than ever, but when it comes to confidants who will support us to be successful, research shows that we’re often in a relationship vacuum and quite lonely.

Since the days of the caveman humans have needed each other. Just because we’re now wearing suits and holding briefcases, it doesn’t mean that anything has changed.

The evidence is clear: You have to do it on your own, but you can’t do it alone.

Who’s in your inner circle helping you to be all that you can be?

Quotes

Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75 – Benjamin Franklin

Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t – Richard Bach

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong – Peter McIntyre

He who lives in harmony with himself, lives in harmony with the universe – Marcus Aurelius

Humour

Tease the frog and…..!! (27 second video)

…..and finally, from the late, great Tommy Cooper:

The Rottweiler

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. ‘My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?’

‘Well,’ said the vet, ‘let’s have a look at him.’ So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, ‘I’m going to have to put him down.’

‘Why, because he’s cross-eyed?’

‘No. Because he’s really heavy.’

Great parking

‘You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen.’

It said, ‘Parking Fine.’

My arm hurts

A man walked into the doctors and said, ‘I’ve hurt my arm in several places’.

The doctor replied, ‘Well, don’t go there anymore.’

To your success,

Sunil

Adventures in Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, 22-01-12

Sometimes life can become a struggle because we’ve forgotten a few simple truths.

Here are 27 things worth remembering:

Quotes

A man is only as good as what he loves – Saul Bellow

The more you say, the less people remember – Francois Fenelon

Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement – Barry LePatner

If everything seems under control, you’re just not going fast enough – Mario Andretti

Humour

More from the inimitable Tommy Cooper:

1. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.
2. I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It’s tiny: you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
3. Two blondes walk into a building………you’d think at least one of them would have seen it.
4. This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says ‘Audi!’
5. I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and told me I’d been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned again to say I’d been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me Managing Director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened. I said ‘I careered off the road.’
6. I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said ‘Eurostar.’ I said ‘Well I’ve been on telly but I’m no Dean Martin.’
7. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

To your success,

Sunil

Adventures in Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, 15-01-12

What matters this year – just as in any other year – is not what you think, plan or say. What matters most is what you do.

It’s like a promise. A promise is meaningless unless it’s delivered.

Until you execute your brilliant idea, it’s just that, a brilliant idea.

Last Monday the winner of the 1:40pm horse race at Taunton was a 200-1 outsider, named Lights on Broadway. After the race, the horse’s trainer Jo Hughes said they had a plan which horse and jockey executed perfectly.

Ten days ago, after Newcastle unexpectedly beat Man. Utd 3-0, the Newcastle manager Alan Pardew said, "We had a plan and once each player crossed the white line, he executed the plan."

At the end of each year – and this year will be no exception – it’s always the same,

Which camp will you be in?

The choice is yours. It always has been.

It’s amazing what just a little extra focus and effort can achieve: the extra degree….. (2:59 min video)

Quotes

Many fine things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success – Swami Sivananda

Nothing will work unless you do – Maya Angelou

Action is the foundational key to all success – Pablo Picasso

Humour

Thanks to Rob Scott for these gems from Tommy Cooper:

1. I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.
   She said ‘Tenpin?’ I said, ‘No, permanent.’
2. I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing
   Queen on it. I thought, ‘That’s Aboriginal.’
3. This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins.
   It was a turtle disaster.
4. I went in to a pet shop. I said, ‘Can I buy a goldfish?’ The guy said,
   ‘Do you want an aquarium?’ I said, ‘I don’t care what star sign it is.’
5. I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. ‘Best Before End’
6. I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said ‘Analogue.’
   I said ‘No, just a watch.’
7. I went into a shop and I said, ‘Can someone sell me a kettle.’ The bloke said ‘Kenwood’ I said, ‘Where is he then?’
8. My mate is in love with two schoolbags.
   He’s bisatchel.
9. I went to the doctor. I said to him ‘I’m frightened of lapels.’
   He said, ‘You’ve got cholera.’

To your success in 2012,

Sunil

Adventures in Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, 08-01-12

Over the festive period I caught up with some old episodes of my favourite radio programme, BBC Radio 4′s Desert Island Discs.

One of the guests was the adventurer and England’s favourite doer of ridiculously dangerous things, Bear Grylls

Grylls was asked whether he felt fear when he undertook his adventures. He sounded surprised at the question, laughed, and said of course he felt scared every day.

So why, asked the presenter, didn’t he do what many of us would do and run away.

Running away, said Grylls, is often the most risky and worst choice that we can make. It’s something we do when we lose control of a situation.

The same is true in business and everyday life.

When we run away – by procrastinating, avoiding the task in question, or outright quitting, we expose ourselves to failure and hardship.

Bear Grylls sees fear as a useful emotion that helps us to function better. It heightens awareness, sharpens our responses, and enables us to perform more quickly and effectively.

When we immerse ourselves completely in the task, we make contact with opportunity, develop leads and produce results. We might get a few bumps and bruises along the way, but the end result is success.

Alligator tamed. Summit peaked. Ocean crossed.

Fear is your body’s way of priming you to perform at your optimal level.

It’s up to you to decide what to do with it.

Fight or flight?

Quotes

It’s not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It’s because we dare not venture that they are difficult – Seneca

Energy and persistence conquer all things – Benjamin Franklin

In the depths of winter, I learned that in me was an invincible summer – Albert Camus

Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace – Amelia Earhart

Humour

More howlers from the classroom, complete with spelling mistakes:

1. One of the most important forces in nature is the force which pulls things to the ground. This force is called gravy.

2. In Africa wild breasts roam the plains.

3. In the forests of Scotland you can see wild dears and slags.

4. The Danish people come from Denmark, the Norwejuns come from Norway and the Lapdancers come from Lapland.

5. In Africa children are staring to death. They only get a little groin to eat. I would not like to eat groin.

6. Today we learned about the Hardon Collider. When the Hardon Collider is turned on it could cause a big bang.

7. In the news today they said they have found the remains of a Roman fart.

To your success in 2012,

Sunil

Adventures in Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, Chief Energy Officer, 18-12-11

A fabulous story; both thought provoking and moving:

Quotes

When I was 5 years old, my mum told me that happiness was the key to life.
When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy".
They told me I didn’t understand the assignment.
I told them they didn’t understand life. – John Lennon

The opposite of play isn’t work. It’s depression – Brian Sutton-Smith Professor of Education, University of Pennsylvania

I’ve suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened – Will Rogers

Smile. It makes you more interesting. People wonder what you’ve been up to – Sunil Bali

Humour

This is my last article this year – I’ll be back on 8th Jan. – so I’ve decided to share two gems which, judging from feedback, have caused the greatest hilarity this year:

This interviewer’s laughter is infectious. It had me, and I know many of you, in tears.

Host can’t stop laughing at man’s voice

Voodoo?

A heartfelt thank you for all your messages and contributions this year – I appreciate each and every one – and for allowing me to share my musings with you.

Have a wonderful Xmas and New Year.

Ps. 2 books based on my "Adventures in Awesome Living" column will be published early in the New Year. They’re entitled "The Art of Awesome Living" and "The Book of Awesome Humour". If you enjoy this column then I’m sure you’ll enjoy the books. If you want to know when they’re published then ping me an e-mail: sunil@sunilbali.com .

To your success,

Sunil

Adventures in Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, Chief Energy Officer, 11-12-11

One of the most troubling features of these troubled times is that so many capable people look so lost and ineffective.

The most successful people demonstrate a capacity for vuja dé. We’ve all experienced déjà vu – looking at an unfamiliar situation and feeling like you’ve seen it before. Vuja dé is the flip side of that – looking at a familiar situation as if you’ve never seen it before.

As you try to create special, exciting and important work, you can look to other people in unrelated fields to see what works for them – and how you can apply their ideas to your problems.

London’s Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children, renowned for its cardiac care, struggled with poorly designed “handoffs” that resulted in errors, complications, even deaths. So Dr. Martin Elliot, Head of Cardiac Surgery, and Dr. Allan Goldman, Head of Paediatric Intensive Care, studied high-powered professionals who were better than anyone at organizing handoffs – the pit crew of Ferrari’s Formula One racing team.

The doctors and the pit crew worked together at the team’s home base in Modena, Italy, in the pits of the British Grand Prix, and in the Great Ormond Street operating room and intensive-care ward. Members of the pit crew were struck by how clumsy the hospital’s handoff process was – not to mention the fact that it often lacked a clear leader. In Formula One races, a so-called “lollipop man” wields an easy-to-see paddle and calls the shots.

Moreover, they noted how noisy the process was. Ferrari pit crews operate largely in silence, despite (or because of) the roar of engines around them. As a result of one of the more unlikely collaborations in modern medicine, the hospital redesigned its handoff procedures and sharply reduced medical errors.

The key message, which is highlighted in former Intel strategist Cynthia Barton Rabe’s book, The Innovation Killer is this:

Don’t let what you know limit what you can imagine.

Quotes

Reality is whatever refuses to go away when I stop believing in it – Philip Dick

If everyone was satisfied with themselves there would be no heroes – Mark Twain

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live – J.K. Rowling

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving – Albert Einstein

Humour

Hilarious howlers from the Classroom:

• "You are under a rest and we will hold you in custard for the night" said the policeman.
• The judge condomned the prisoner to death.
• Lowry’s pictures are mostly about the different prats of Manchester.
• I love drawing and painting so my favourite subject is ars.
• The pilot was bound to crash the plane. The moment he saw his wig come loose and fall to the ground he knew there was no chance of survival.
• "And now" said Mr. Brooks "I shall read your fathers last will and testacle."
• …..and at the end of our christmas play we all sang away in a manager.

To your success,

Sunil

Adventures in Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, Chief Energy Officer, 04-12-11

Research reveals that many successful people have an interesting strategy when it comes to dealing with rejection. Rather than worry about being rejected, they adopt a warrior like mentality and wear their scars of battle proudly.

They treat their rejections like badges of honour, to remind them of what they’ve been through and to keep persisting.

Author of 49 novels, Stephen King used this strategy when he first started writing. As a child, King was repeatedly rejected by publishers, but instead of throwing the rejection slips away, he hammered a nail into the wall above his bed and put all his rejections slips on it.

King said, "By the time I was fourteen, the nail in the wall would no longer support the weight of the rejection slips impaled on it. So I replaced the nail with a spike and went on writing." To date, Stephen King has sold over 350 million books.

Most writers can tell you how many rejections they’ve had. Marketing guru and author of 15 best sellers Seth Godin says, "I had 950 rejection letters before I sold my first book."

The crime writer Ed McBain (aka Evan Hunter) sold over 100 million books before he died, but he too was no overnight sensation. McBain received enough rejections to paper the walls of his bathroom so that he could then laugh at all the people who said that his writing was crap!

When the inevitable happens and one of your labours of love is rejected, what’s it to be: worrier or warrior?

Quotes

Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow – Norman Vincent Peale

Courage is the price life exacts for granting peace – Amelia Earhart

Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Art is the proper task of life – Friedrich Nietzsche

Humour

These photographs are more aaahh than ha ha, but are so wonderful that I wanted to share them with you…..a mother’s brilliant imagination:

To your success,

Sunil