by Sunil Bali, 21-02-16

We live in an age of guided missiles but misguided people.

The depths to which we humans will plumb seem endless.

If I asked you to name one person who really irritates you, annoys you or who upsets you, I suspect that you wouldn’t have to think for very long.

Too many people believe they have the right to express their opinion and have others listen to it, but not criticise it, or demonstrate that its complete nonsense.

I agree with the wisdom of the person who said, "All of humanity’s sorrows spring from making something out of nothing, while making nothing out of something."

As a default position, give people a piece of your heart rather than a piece of your mind, simply because its hurt people that hurt people.

Every act is either a call for love or an expression of love.

So keep increasing the dose of love.

If this prescription doesn’t work however, then you have little option but to hit delete and remove the toxin.

 

Humour

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

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ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

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ATTORNEY: Are you 5exually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

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ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-nine, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.

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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.

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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you kidding me?

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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new
attorney?

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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

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And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

 

Live big, love deep and leave a legacy.

Sunil

www.sunilbali.com