by Sunil Bali, 26-07-15

During my training to be a psychotherapist, I learned that when a rose bush flowers it produces roses, and when a tulip bulb flowers it produces a tulip.

The tulip will never try to be a rose, and the rose will never try to be a tulip. And so it is with all living things except humans.

All living things don’t try and be anything that they aren’t – they leave that to us humans – and consequently humans are the only living things that need therapy. As the Zen proverb says, "Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are."

We’re programmed to self-actualize and express our true nature, but from an early age we’re told, "you should be like this", or "you should be like that". The fact is that if you are to live a happy and fulfilled life, then the only thing you can be and should be, is who you really are.

When what you think, say and do are the same,

When what you think, say and do resonate with your soul,

When what you think, say and do make you smile,

Then you’re authentic, you’ll flourish and you’ll inspire others to do the same.

So trust and embrace yourself just as you are, in all your glorious imperfection, because who you really are is good enough.


A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot.

"What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, and it’s an absolute steal at only £20."

"Why is it so cheap?" the woman asks.

"Well", replies the assistant, "It used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity".

"Oh, I don’t mind that", said the woman.

"I’m broad minded and it’ll be a laugh having a profane parrot". So she buys the parrot and takes him home.

Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman. "Amazing! A new brothel and a new Madam".

"I’m not a Madam and this is not a brothel," scolds the woman trying not to laugh.

A little later the woman’s two teenage daughters arrive home.

"Unbelievable! A new brothel, a new Madam, and now two new scarlet women," says the parrot when he sees the daughters.

"Mum, tell your parrot to shut up, we’re not scarlet women" complain the girls but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.

A short while later, the woman’s husband, Dave, comes home.

"Incredible! A new brothel, a new madam, new scarlet women, but the same old clients ….. How are you doing, Dave?"