by Sunil Bali, 19-04-15

I never thought I was a bully until I heard myself speak ….. to myself.

It was then I realized that I owed myself a very big apology, because self-criticism is the most damaging criticism.

As babies and toddlers life is easy. We learn, play and create every day. We forgive very quickly, go where there is excitement and stay where there is love. And everyone around us tells us how lovely and wonderful we are, and showers us with love.

But as we grow up, it’s very different. We’re bombarded with mustn’t, can’t, and don’t.

The real person morphs into a persona under the weight of all this negative conditioning. Our soul becomes soiled and we not only start to believe the limitations that others impose upon us, but we reinforce them with our own negative internal dialogue.

We doubt ourselves because we forget the truth that we are born happy, built to stay happy and shuffle off this mortal coil happy.

Along with life and liberty, happiness is an unalienable birthright.

This isn’t some metaphysical claptrap. Happily ever after isn’t just for fairy tales.

Research by Professor Eleanor Maccoby at The University of Stanford – and an army of other academics – shows that we’re born happy, but the potential and wellbeing of kids, adolescents and ultimately adults is severely restricted by negative inputs from others and our own negative internal dialogue.

So be careful when you listen to others who tell you to conform with the masses, because the "m" is often silent.

Oh and one final thought.

When you come into this world you’re crying, and everyone around you is smiling.

When you go out of this world, please make sure that you’re smiling and everyone around you is crying.


A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.

They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands. The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table – but the man stared straight ahead.

The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the man stared straight ahead.

The waitress, thinking this behaviour a bit risqué and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."

The man calmly looked up at her and said, "No, she didn’t. She just walked in……"

(Thanks to Suzan for the joke)


Have a great week.