by Sunil Bali, 15-04-12

In an excess economy attention is scarce. If you don’t get noticed you’re out. In order to thrive in this hyper competitive environment you need to get personal and become a magnet for people’s hearts and minds.

It’s often thought that in order to have a magnetic personality you have to be an extrovert or naturally charismatic. This simply isn’t true.

The key to capturing your audience’s attention is to first pay attention to them and remember that two monologues don’t make a dialogue.

Of course, we can all think of people who are naturally appealing or charismatic, but can you think of a person who cares about you, understands you and who always helps you, that you don’t like?

One of the most magnetic people I know is an introvert who cares about everyone she meets. She’s a great listener and always says something that’s interesting, valuable, or which makes you feel good. You won’t hear her complaining, tellinyou how great she is (and she really is very successful) or putting others down.

Here are the 10 Commandments of Charismatic people. Charismatic people,

1. Are grateful for your time and attention

2. Focus on you and not themselves

3. Ask engaging questions

4. Actively listen – guys, when it comes to your better half, apparently nodding your head feigning interest isn’t enough! She needs to have the experience of being listened to and feel that she’s been heard.

5. Are helpful

6. Like to have fun

7. Are positive

8. Don’t take themselves too seriously

9. Are open to new ideas

10. Are honest

If you’ve got a great attitude towards other people, then they’ll want to hear what you have to say and spend time with you.

A bad attitude on the other hand is like bad breath: if you have one, people will avoid you and they probably won’t tell you why.


Sometimes we need to detach ourselves from others, sometimes we need to tune in to others. The people who thrive are the people that can do both – Sunil Bali

There have been great societies that did not use the wheel, but there have been no societies that did not tell stories – Ursula Le Guin

The keys to the kingdom are changing hands. Being an expert is no longer enough. The ability to forge relationships now determines who flourishes and who flounders – Daniel Pink

We love buying but hate being sold to. So be in the relationship before the sale – Greg Cangialosi


The Mexican Maid

The Mexican maid asked for a pay rise.

The Missus was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the completely unjustified raise.

Mrs: "Now Maria, just why do you want a pay increase?"

Maria: "Well, Senora, there are tree reeezons why I wanna increeze. The first is that I iron better than you …"

Mrs: "And just Who said you iron better than me …?"

Maria: "Jor huzban … he say so …".

Mrs: "Oh yeah …?!!"

Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you …"

Mrs: "Nonsense, what utter rubbish; and Who said you were a better cook than me …?"

Maria: "Jor hozban … he did say so …"

Mrs, increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he …???"

Maria: "The third reason is that I am better in bed than you…"

Mrs, really boiling now, and through gritted teeth: "And, did my husband say that as well …?"

Maria: "No Senora … The gardener did …"

Mrs: "So how much of a raise were you wanting …?"

To your success,